There is no Guide to Getting Over Somethings in Life

As time goes on I slowly come to more realizations of what happened since the first of the year. I went through stuff that no homeschooled, innocent, seventeen year old should have. I had no clue what I was doing or what was happening. When I was with the boy and things started heading down hill I found this song by K Michelle called I Don't Like Me. And it gave me some sort of conformation that I was not alone in this. I always told myself that I was not in a situation like the song talks about. Now looking back I realize that was the exact situation I was in except I was in love with the boy and completely blind to what was happening. On a day like today I do not see how I could ever truly love myself or expect anyone else to. Why would you love someone who expects so little for herself? How could you love a girl who let a man do that to her? How could you have the patients to love someone who cannot trust or connect with you?

I did not ask for any of this to happen, but it did. A nightmare that I lived and gave up my dreams for. I pray God can restore what was lost and grow me in time.