I had been with this guy for five months and he suddenly tells me to "just leave me alone." I did it, I left him alone. I thought the best idea would be to jump bad into dating and go have fun. I thought I needed a guy to move on. I mean hell it wouldn't hurt would it? It would be nice to be held when I am feeling alone. So I did just that. I met a guy online who was cute and so very tall. We talked for about a week and then met. I cannot tell you how perfect he was. Now he wasn't a model but he was hot. He kissed me softly, was rough in bed, and cared about my needs. He took me fishing and took me around his friends. He was the first guy to just come up to me and hold me. He blew me kisses. He would just stare at me and I would ask him what he was doing and he'd say he just needed to look at me. It was perfect.
But as I have learned when it gets perfect, it ends. He started ignoring me and a few weeks later he was back with an old girl. If I see a picture of him on social media still to this day I will cry. I don't cry because he hurt me but because nothing had ever felt so right to me before. During this time the guy I was with for five months starting posting pictures of him and his new girl. The first time I saw it I started hyperventilating. I couldn't take it, she had my dream she had everything I wanted. She had my life.
But like always I moved on again. I met this gorgeous boy. He worked out and did everything I wanted in a man. He was perfect, a real prince charming. He took me to Olive Garden for our date. During dinner he texted me and told me I was very pretty, cause he was to nervous to say it out loud. He just kept staring at me and smiling that boy was in love with the way I looked. We joked about random things and were complete dorks and it was fun. After dinner I met his dog and it was really sweet. He didn't even try and kiss me when he left he just gave me a big, long hug. He came over to me at the gym twice during the next week and gave me a hug. He also said how nice it was to see me. We talked everyday until he began to ignore me. So what is this? What is so wrong with me that no guy wants me?
It makes me sick. It drives me crazy but you know what I have learned. I need a break. I need to love me. I need to find good friends to keep in my life. I have learned that I deserve more. Like Jennifer Aniston said in The Breakup, "I deserve somebody who gives a shit." Now do I wanna be alone, hell no. Do I wanna stop dating, no. Am I gonna stop flirting, no. But I am not gonna be exclusive for a while. I am not gonna have sex with anyone. I am not going to get attached and needy. I am gonna work on being happy on my own.
But as I have learned when it gets perfect, it ends. He started ignoring me and a few weeks later he was back with an old girl. If I see a picture of him on social media still to this day I will cry. I don't cry because he hurt me but because nothing had ever felt so right to me before. During this time the guy I was with for five months starting posting pictures of him and his new girl. The first time I saw it I started hyperventilating. I couldn't take it, she had my dream she had everything I wanted. She had my life.
But like always I moved on again. I met this gorgeous boy. He worked out and did everything I wanted in a man. He was perfect, a real prince charming. He took me to Olive Garden for our date. During dinner he texted me and told me I was very pretty, cause he was to nervous to say it out loud. He just kept staring at me and smiling that boy was in love with the way I looked. We joked about random things and were complete dorks and it was fun. After dinner I met his dog and it was really sweet. He didn't even try and kiss me when he left he just gave me a big, long hug. He came over to me at the gym twice during the next week and gave me a hug. He also said how nice it was to see me. We talked everyday until he began to ignore me. So what is this? What is so wrong with me that no guy wants me?
It makes me sick. It drives me crazy but you know what I have learned. I need a break. I need to love me. I need to find good friends to keep in my life. I have learned that I deserve more. Like Jennifer Aniston said in The Breakup, "I deserve somebody who gives a shit." Now do I wanna be alone, hell no. Do I wanna stop dating, no. Am I gonna stop flirting, no. But I am not gonna be exclusive for a while. I am not gonna have sex with anyone. I am not going to get attached and needy. I am gonna work on being happy on my own.
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